


give me your affection baby (even if it's killing me)

by netherfriends



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Affection, Angst, Clay | Dream Being a Jerk (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), but he ain't getting one in this fic, sapnap slowly realizing how much of a asshole dream is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28238352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/netherfriends/pseuds/netherfriends
Summary: A lot of people would consider Sapnap a touchy person. He liked to be in contact with people, whether it just be an arm around the shoulder or just him slightly leaning into you he liked contact. Sapnap isn't going to deny this, because he strived for contact. Before Dream's SMP, George and Dream would happily give him affection, of course with some teasing. He didn't mind, as long as he got a kiss on the forehead or had his hand be held he was fine.But then the SMP was created.But then L'Manburg happened.But then Wilbur happened.ORsapnap slowly realizing how dream isn't who he used to be
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 119





	give me your affection baby (even if it's killing me)

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, i have no idea if i did the dream smp any justice with this because the timeline is wack so..
> 
> also, hi i love sapnap i think he's neat

A lot of people would consider Sapnap a touchy person. He liked to be in contact with people, whether it just be an arm around the shoulder or just him slightly leaning into you he liked contact. Sapnap isn't going to deny this, because he _strived_ for contact. Before Dream's SMP, George and Dream would happily give him affection, of course with some teasing. He didn't mind, as long as he got a kiss on the forehead or had his hand be held he was fine.

But then the SMP was created.

But then L'Manburg happened.

But then _Wilbur_ happened.

Wilbur, who had somehow convinced a group of people to fight for a cause, a _country_ as they liked to say. L'Manburg wasn't a country, it was just a group of stragglers who would be let down. Sapnap didn't understand what Wilbur was doing, declaring war against _Dream_ of all people, but he'd stand by his friend's side no matter what.

He still got affection, plenty enough to calm down any negative thoughts he might have on the matter. But he noticed Dream shifting away, how he almost never took his mask off in front of them anymore. As the days went on, he hid himself farther and farther away from his friends. George was smart, and he had definitely noticed, he just didn't want to admit it.

Sapnap left it alone, knowing that his friend was drifting away but not knowing how to bring him back.

He shouldn't have left it alone.

Sapnap considered himself a simple man. When he wanted something he got it. And he would always be loyal to his friends. So of course he was thrilled when the war was finally over. The stress had been taking a toll on Dream, so he was glad that it was finally over. And the fact that he no longer had to fight. It was wonderful, until it wasn't.

Dream hadn't been himself. And Sapnap was straightforward and blunt, and above all he _cared_ about his friend. So of course he confronted Dream about it.

"Dream, buddy, pal, chum!" Dream hummed, rifling through a chest.

"Listen, I noticed you haven't been...yourself lately. And well, I just figured, if you talked about it-"

"No."

Sapnap blinked, "No?"

Dream turned around, " _No_." 

Sapnap had never seen Dream as a threat before. He had always been Dream, who had freckles and clapped when he was excited and had a terrible singing voice but he tried hard so it was worth it. He had always seen Dream as the nights they had under the stars, fire blazing and their laughs loud enough to drown out George's giggles. But _never_ , had he ever seen Dream as a threat, an enemy, something to get away from.

But now, as he towered over Sapnap, mask with that crudely drawn face on it, he seemed _threatening_. Sapnap stared up at Dream, fear practically freezing him in place. But it was just _Dream_.

Nothing to be afraid of.

"Okay then, I won't push-" Sapnap went to put a hand on Dream's shoulder but flinched back when Dream slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" Dream roared, and it felt like a massive punch to the gut.

Sapnap stared at Dream in shock, a weird pressure building up behind his eyes. He sniffed, and turned around.

"Okay, s-sorry _Dream_." He ran out, ignoring the calls of his name from the other.

Later, he cackled as he killed another pet. The life drained from the owner's eyes, and it was all too amusing to watch.

~~Except it just made him feel empty, and Sapnap kept thinking back to _Dream_.~~

He sat on a hill, watching as the sun dipped below the horizon. With how many pets he's killed, he can't be sure that someone won't sneak up behind him and kill him, but Sapnap isn't really bothered at the prospect of dying. 

He heard footsteps behind him and instantly recognized them as George's. He had learned to memorize his friend's footsteps after traveling with them for so long.

George sat beside him, pressed up beside the younger. He knew that touch brought Sapnap back to reality, and thankfully it was working. Sapnap leaned his head on George, despite the height difference.

"George, Dream's changed, hasn't he?" He heard a sigh from the older, but kept his eyes trained on the sky that was turning a deep blue-black.

"Afraid so."

Sapnap sniffed, burying his face into George's stupid hair that had a horrible haircut. George turned to him, tears shining as they threatened to fall from his eyes. Out of all of them, George was the strongest. Maybe not physically, like Dream was with an axe. But he was the strongest mentally, somehow keeping himself together even as everything around them fell apart. And now George was crying.

George shifted and held Sapnap's hands, holding them so that both of them could see them. He gave them a gentle squeeze, something which made Sapnap feel a lot better. 

"I'll be here for you, Sapnap. Forever."

If only that was true.

Sapnap was tired. He was tired of the constant fighting, of having blood shed on his hands. He was so, so tired. He knew George was too. But George was always good at ignoring things, his problems, other people's problems, and war. He was tired, when yet again he was forced into another war. He was tired, when he realized how much Dream had shifted, how much he had _changed_. How easily he gave into the chaos.

Dream was always chaotic. He reveled in the chaos, laughed gleefully as the world burned around him. 

Enter scene.

Sapnap, covered in soot and ash as the world exploded around him. Screams, filling the air, as he stood, looking down at the crater that was once L'Manberg, and he understood.

He understood, what they had tried to create at the beginning. L'Manberg had never been the old van filled with drugs, nor had it been the walls covering the area. It had always been the _people_. The memories that were shared, the people who they were shared with. _That_ was L'Manberg. Not a couple of buildings, but the people.

And Sapnap stood there, as the deaths of others echoed through his mind. He stood there as Dream cackled, enjoying every second of pain. He stood there as his friend was absent from the war yet again, building a house far away.

He stood there, as he finally realized what the stragglers with big hearts had been fighting for.

He stood there, as the world burned.

Sapnap no longer could look at Dream anymore. All he could see was death, cackles as he tormented those around him. He could no longer see the Dream he once knew, whose wheezy laughs resonated tea kettles and gladly gave Sapnap affection. He could no longer recognize that Dream when he looked at the man who he had once considered a best friend.

Sapnap doesn't think that Dream deserves that title anymore.

Dream, who said he cared about _nothing but Tommy's discs_ , because they gave him _power_. They gave him power over a teenager, a bright teenager who had been crushed too many times, had been forced to pick himself up again and again. Sapnap could only watch as the life drained from Tommy's eyes, as the teenager who fought against him so bravely died, slowly but surely.

Sapnap watched, as no one saved the poor teenager. 

He thinks he understood what Wilbur had meant when he said that Tommy was a bright kid. That he would do wonderful things. He thinks he gets it now, as it's too late. 

And that night, Sapnap cries for the first time in forever.

There is no George to offer reassuring words. There is no Dream to hold him close and wipe his tears. He is alone, his sobs louder than everything.

He cried for Tommy, who had lost _everything_ and was now losing himself. He cried for Philza, who had to kill his own son and was now dealing with everything he had left behind in his death. He cried for Niki, who was stronger than them all and had been carrying them from the start.

He made sure not to let a single tear fall for Dream.

He was _outraged_.

Sapnap was a simple man, and forever loyal to his friends. And Dream was _not_ his friend. He screamed at Dream, exploding with rage and broken trust and _pain_. He screamed because Dream was _stupid_ enough to put a _traitor_ in place of where George stood. Someone who had betrayed both sides.

He screamed, louder than anyone and he kept screaming long after everyone else was gone. He screamed in the face of that _stupid_ mask, and he spit on him. And he didn't realize that he had begun crying, because there was no one to comfort him. No one to rub his back or hold his hand. Those days were gone, they had been gone since Dream had become whatever he was, and they were gone since George had decided to _leave_ him for Dream.

Because George would always go back to Dream, no matter what anyone said.

And it _hurt_ , because even after everything Dream had done, George still went back to him. Even though Dream had dethroned him, wiped away any feelings of care of him, and ignored him for months George still went back to Dream.

And he cried one last time, for George. For his _friend_ , who patted his hands and giggled at the stupidest things and didn't know that Dream was green. 

As his last tear fell, he turned and didn't look back.

\--

"Hi, Niki."


End file.
